The way we bond with our parents in the very first years of our lives, have a great impact on our ability to connect to others later on in life. The connection with our family members, and especially parental attachment, forms an extremely important base for how we feel and behave many years later. Especially the parts of our parents that we reject, can still influence us as adults. Many patterns that are not serving us, that we try to get rid of, but somehow always seem to come back, are related to our system of origin, the family within we grew up.

Out of loyalty, children can unconsciously take on destructive familial patterns such as guilt, anger, anxiety, depression, addiction and even physical illnesses, as a way of “belonging” to their families. From the unconditional love a child feels for its parent, a child will often sacrifice its own wellbeing in a vain attempt to ease the suffering of the parent. Ever so often keeping that pattern when growing up, even long after the parents have died. When becoming a parent, many parents notice they can be triggered by certain aspects of their child's behaviour, uncovering pain, anger or sadness from their inner child.

Through systemic and family constellation work these hidden or unconscious dynamics and patterns can be brought to the surface. By bringing these underlying family bonds and forces into the light of our awareness, we can begin to see and understand these patterns. Over time we can change our inner attitude towards ourselves, family members and the issues we are facing. By doing so we can allow ourselves to break free from these destructive patterns, in order to live a happier and healthier life in true connection with ourselves and others.